Bella Luna

closure

2008-12-31T17:29:00.000+08:00

Bye.

pain in the bloody ass

2008-12-31T12:40:00.003+08:00

KIMAK KORANG PSYCHO KE DAH MEMANG TAKDE KEJE LAIN SIAL! I just made my blog public barely 12 hours ago and look what I found. Ugh seriously. I think I should just close down this blog completely to prevent some freaking stalkers from harassing my life. Yes dammit, I feel harassed. Wtf?! "MOVE ON" AND "HIM"?! Move on from WHAT OR WHO EXACTLY?! Because I've been in a relationship for almost three years now and I don't have to move on from anything or anyone. And which "HIM" are you searching for exactly?! Saiful or "the one whom I'm supposedly supposed to move on from"? Gawd seriously. I do not need to justify myself here but I do have an issue about my ex ( ugh I don't even wanna consider him my ex dammit ) reading my blog and his girlfriend too ( can you spell psychotic stalker? ). Siape makan chilli terase pedas ar eh. And I don't even care if my peribahasa is not properly phrased because you make me sick to the extent of wasting my time talking about this. Screw y'all.

live high

2008-12-30T22:44:00.011+08:00

Hi, I've decided not to privatize my blog for long after all. Reason being : I don't want to go through the hassle of inviting people, because believe me, even after 5 days I have not completed inviting all my friends and my silent readers. People who asked me to invite without giving me their emails were not helpful. My lappie being down was also to be blamed. I was utterly depressed and I'll get back to this later. But I'm glad to acknowledge some nice silent readers of mine out there. And I don't want to disappoint them by privatizing my blog and ending up not having the time to invite them. (: So here you go, baby-blue-eyed is open to public again. However, I've decided to draw a line ( a pretty new one, to add ). I've decided to not go into details about my everyday life, which is funny because I do not go into vivid details anyway before this. What I feel is appropriate to make widely known on the world wide web, I shall blog here, what isn't, shall not make it here. Let me warn you though, the former is not much at all, but that'll do right. I don't feel comfortable sharing too much here anymore. Knowing that I chalk up to a couple of hundreds friggin' visits per day is a pretty scary thing. No kidding.

Okay phew, that's a long introduction/explanation.

So how's life? Mine has been a little too depressing. I expected my three weeks holiday to kick ass, and knowing that it'll end in like 4 days is . . just plain dejecting. I did not do much, trust me. I wasn't out gallivanting around god knows where, with god knows who, doing god knows what. Haha, you get the drift. I spent most of my time with my family actually, which is both a good and bad thing. Good because you know how I've been complaining about how much I miss my family so much right? Yeah well, I don't miss them anymore. On the other hand, it's bad becauseeee . . ah, it's pretty much a love-hate relationship when you get too much of something, no? Despite it all, it is such an incredible feeling having all of us gathered talking about anything under the sun and reliving the good old past. I feel old already thinking about my childhood. .

Anyway, Maya is already 1 month old. So Aunty Lyn got these little goodies. :)

I know, I know. It's an empty box with a pink ribbon and that tag. But I couldn't resist(!!). Inside were these cute little macaroons ( actually just two ) - one pink and one white with chocolate stuffings. It was as cute as button, I tell you. Thus the reason why I ended up gobbling them up before taking a picture of it (try spelling p-i-g, Bella ), and the reason why I decided to keep the box, the tag and the ribbon afterwards.

Maya has been the sweetest thing eva. I swear I love her with all my heart and more. :)

Okay so I've realised 2008 is coming to an end. Why am I not surprised that it felt like it's a little too soon to call it a year already? Time is playing tricks on me. It's going too fast when I'm having so much fun, but creeping like hell when I'm going through .. well, hell. Hoboy, 2008 has been pretty much good. Really. The highlight was probably, as lame as it seems, taking my O levels results. Hahaha, I'm such a nerd, I know. But I swear it was such an unbelievable feeling to know my results. I mean I cried tears of joy, dammit(!) that was truly a first. I remember every single detail of that event, I was the happiest girl alive and I shall not bore you with the details again. But yeah, it was really something and I still cannot get over the fact I got a freaking B3 instead of an A for English. Major bummer. Aside from that, 2008 taught me to be responsible and to grow up, so many events happened and it was really something I tell ya.

Now the resolutions I made for year 2008 :

1) Cut down on shopping.
Top on my list and why am I not surpriseddddddddd(!) that I did not fulfill this because my closetS are still suffering from overbearing my clothes. My goodness. Hate to say this but I did not manage to do it. :(

2) Be less selfish.
I think I have actually! Aside from the cold hard evidence of my bank account being rapidly depleted(!) from showering my loved ones with material things, I have invested a lot both emotionally and mentally kay, if you get what I mean. For those who don't, go figure. So yeah, check! This one's done. But needs improvement, of course.

3) Learn to prioritize properly.
Yeap. Done that. Still a mess, I am. But I've improved since 2007. And I've stuck to my guns pretty well for most of the times.

4) Not to get involved with that asshole.
Hahahaha. Okay major check! Moving on. .

..

(Ein just gave me the cheesiest pick up line, and I'm sorry I just had to digress a little bit and blog about it. Haha. I hate pick up lines, please guys spare me from them.)

5) Remove people who exude negative vibes.
Although I try so hard to do this, some people just can't help but to claw their ways back into my life, no matter how much I resent it. But I'd like to think, yes, I've done this. I no longer feel that much negative vibes from those people anymore, because I've either exiled them from my life completely or I've kept a safe distance from them. For the good of both parties, I assure you. So, check!

6) Stop trying to make peace with losers cuz it's their loss.
Hahah. So much angst, Bella. I've grown out of these shits. So I shan't bother with this. Next.

7) Be happy and smile.
Hmm, I don't know about this. I am happy where I am at this point of time, but I don't smile as often as I should. Haha. Weird. So .. no check for this one. I'll try harder in '09.

Okay so all in all, it's 50/50. Some I've fulfilled, some I haven't.

I still haven't thought throughly about my 2009's resolutions. I've got 3. Should have more, but here goes nothing.

1) Attend school religiously, make folders for each module, make notes for each module.
Haha, seems like a joke. But really, I foresee 2009 will kick ass on the school basis cuz I'm finally gonna learn some interesting modules about hotel and hospitality management. So .. this first resolution will only apply as soon as I'm in my second year in poly. As for the remaining three weeks of my first year, I shall be the slackest student evaaaa. Hah. Way to sticking to your resolutions, Bella.

2) Get my license by June/July.
I really, really, really am aiming to! Some say I can get it earlier and I really hope they're right cuz seriously, I have not much confidence. But so far, so good. :) So we'll see. The latest shall be before my 19th birthday. If I don't, I'll shoot myself in the head. You see.

3) Reach the three year mark with my love.
This will probably be the easiest resolution eva. Cuz we're 86 days short of it. Yay. Stay strong, honey(!!!) When I say honey, I mean myself.

Okay that's all for now. More to come if I can think of more? If you've noticed, I've decided to just skip all the impossible ones such as cutting down on shopping, saving up, lose weight blablabla shits. I'd like to think I've grown out of it hahaha. So about my laptop fiasco. I swear a part of me died when I woke up one morning realising my charger can't revive my laptop. :( But all's good now, as you can see. :)

On a totallie random note, I had this short lived urge to pimp up my room (again) yesterday. I told the boy I wanna paint my room red and he chided me because well, he spent the whole entire day painting my room and rearranging it barely 6 months ago. Haha. So scratch that. I think I just wanna buy some pretty frames and art pieces ( macam faham ) from Ikea to hang in my room. Which will also be short lived because I'm extremely broke now. So I think I shall just tuck myself into bed before I start wallowing in self pity right this instant. Good night, babies. I've missed you.

P/S : I know, so much for not going into details. Pls understand that I get excited after not having to blog properly after what seemed like forever. So after this post, don't expect too much yeah? :)

boo

2008-12-27T17:57:00.002+08:00

Hey babies, I'll be back with updates once I get my laptop up and running. :) In the meantime, be safe & don't do drugs. Mwah!

experimental game

2008-12-22T18:58:00.007+08:00

Hey babies. I've decided to make this blog private as of Christmas. :) So those who'd like to be invited pls send me an email at xrsbkx@hotmail.com by the 25th. I'll try my very best to add y'all up, even my silent readers whom I don't know ( provided you're nice! haha ). So kay bye~

butterfly

2008-12-21T16:26:00.004+08:00

I'm thinking of making this blog private because I wanna annoy the shit out of people who annoys the shit out of me by linking me but privatizing their blogs. Cb annoying much?! Don't even have the courtesy of inviting me, what the fuck? Then what's your point of bloody linking me? Today, I have zero mood and I'm being extremely bitchy and angry towards just about everything. I'm craving for more ice creams. And my head is spinning, god it's killing me.

Replies to tags :

nuresna : Haha. Cute as a button. I WANT!

lynney : I know that. You were at home with your BF. Buat party sendiri dalam bilik. Hahah. K no.

epul : Hello baby.

Ala : Makin kurus abissss. Tapi perot maintain. Hahaha.

Firr : Sureee, one day.

/edit

Omg. For a split second there, I actually felt like baking. I miss baking very much. And I already miss the boy. Thank God for early book out this week(!) Yay Chrismas.

i hate this part right here

2008-12-20T20:15:00.004+08:00

The day started off pretty good with us having plans. Paid a visit to CDC, then NTUC for some shopping. Bought basically all kinds of junks. Shared a tub of chocolate chip cookie dough under the scorching sun, I wonder whose idea was it to sit anywhere but under the shade when the weather was absolutely merciless. Went over to your place and watched all kinds of dumb videos just to entertain ourselves. You cooked some noodles for us and I started coughing like mad. You said " B, you wait here k. " And I thought nothing of it, where else would I go when I'm in the comfort and familiarity of your room. I continued watching catwalk bloopers on youtube, with Ha laughing hysterically on my lap. Your absence was nothing. Then, you walked in and sneaked two packets of cherry flavored lozenges in my bag. The sweetest gesture ever as for today. But somehow everything sucked from then on. Not gonna let that ruin my night, cuz it's still early. Hopefully the family will be able to cheer me up. I hear there'll be some shopping going on afterwards. :) Maybe later tonight, when I'm tucked into bed I'll continue reading my letters to you - the whole paper bag worth of it. I tried reading them all last night when I got home, but I was too worn out and I kinda .. got bored of reading them. I can't believe I actually got bored of reading my own heartfelt words to you. Maybe the mood just wasn't there yet, last night. I'll try again tonight, if I'm not tired. I need to relieve those 3 years with you again. Once I'm done, it'll all be yours to possess again.

family

2008-12-19T22:06:00.002+08:00

Everything's so perfect right now. Everybody I love and care about is happy, and that's ditto for me too. :)

i scream for ice cream

2008-12-18T18:48:00.003+08:00

I woke up this morning with an urge to travel all the way to Holland V to chill at Cold Rock and have some kickass ice cream.. but of course, that didn't happen. I'm still sick. :( No, I'm not too sick for ice cream..just too sick to travel. Perhaps when I'm better. I can't believe I'm wasting away my holidays being ill(!!). Ugh.

/edit

Hahaha. I've ordered the ice cream(!!). Hell yeah babyyyy~

shake my soda, dj yoda

2008-12-17T18:09:00.005+08:00

Hey babies, I'm back and I'm sick :( Bummer, much? I hope I'll get well soon. I do not want to waste my holidays rotting in my bed please. I bet you guys have missed me ( esp LYNNEY ) haha. So here's the long awaited Zoukout post, loves. (:

Zoukout was pretty much aweeesomeee. Despite having to wait for the not-so-punctual people ( did I mention I hate waiting? ) thus ending up entering close to midnight, and partying around 1am, it was still great nonetheless. Bumped into tons of friends/acquaintances which made the event a whole lot eggciting. & of course, the music and the crowd were amazing.

Managed a sneak preview of Vivo's tree while waiting for the monorail. Pretty, isn't it?

Look who I bumped into on the way in. My drunk brother and his even more drunk friend, Alam.

We went in, and went out again for some drinks at the beach to kick things off.

Stole the light stick from Yat. Apparently those who entered early got cool light sticks and lanyards. Us being the late comers had to beg/borrow/steal from them haha. Kay not really actually, cuz when we got in, there were tons of thrown light sticks in the sand. And by the end of the morning I had like 5 light sticks hanging around my neck. Minah lampu hahah.

Time to partayyy~

There were hot chicks on sticks and ..

Cyclops people? And tons of other weird costumed people walking around, towering above us.

There were also fireworks(!!).

Kisskiss briefs.

Time to showcase to the world my boyfriend's shaved armpits.

Bonchbonchbonchet.

Haha nice Zaki.

Where were you while we were getting high?

Niss & Khai!

Syed & Izzul~

DJ Yoda on stage.

Home.

Squareface.

See you next year, definitely.

We were so famished so we went to have breakfast.

Then, home sweet home at 8am.

.
.

When I woke up that evening, I had to rush through my packing since I'm sleeping over at my aunt's and going overseas the next day. The weather was also extremely cold, so probably that explains why I'm down with flu. I visited the so called Beverly Hills of Malaysia where the houses there are absolutely breath taking and ginarmous pls. I was so shocked to see how just a house can take up so much land space and how many towers there are in just one plot. Too bad I didn't have my camera with me else you'll be as jakon as me k. We went bowling there too. My mum kicked ass haha. Okay no. But it was terribly fun watching her bowl with two hands. I was reminded once again, how much I sucked at bowling. I slept most of the time there. In the house, in the car, everywhere. Woke up with a terrible splitting headache and it hurts so bad I feel like fainting. It was really nice to have my mum take such good care of me, though. I feel like a little kid again haha. And I missed the boy so much while I was away, you have no idea. :(

Now that I'm having my holidays I'm thinking of going for as many practicals as I possibly can. Time to chiong baby! Okay, and I'm thinking of having a screen name for the net. I don't feel like using my name anymore. Any suggestions?

my photo editting skills suck very much

2008-12-12T20:25:00.002+08:00

Holidays are finally here! In the meantime, I'll be on hiatus. So, be right back babies!
Take care, mwah!

XOXO

move on

2008-12-11T12:35:00.006+08:00

Revenge is suuuweeeet. Go to my links, click on CD's link and know what I'm talking about. I swear Arief irritated the hell out of me today ( and it's just 12PM) , so the guys did a little something to cheer me up. Awww. Couldn't have asked for more. :)

I got a candy cane today from some masked stranger, whom I actually know is Kwan judging from his infamous blue sweater. *Roll eyes*

.
.

Woah? Maybe that explains this..

Double woahh. But anyway, I'm pretty much flattered, mwah! ( I think? I cannot help but feel stalked :S ).

All this aside.. tomorrow's F-F-FRIDAYYY!

instant karma

2008-12-10T21:01:00.004+08:00

Talk about not knowing what you've got till it's gone.. My camera bounced of (from my bed) to it's (almost) death just now. Serve me damn well right. I've been literally throwing it around(!), dumping it in my bag without any casing, chucking it aside, not bothering to have any care for it basically. Now it's (almost) gone. I'm scared. :( Maybe it's a sign for me to get a new camera. A non-Canon camera because I swear I think Canon sucks to the core. But please baby, don't fail on me now. I need you for Zoukout! As for now, tender loving care (with casing) for you from now on.

we think you're a joke, shove your hope where it don't shine

2008-12-10T13:02:00.004+08:00

Hello, communication today sucks. The tuna sandwich I got from Cafe Galilee was delicious. And I'll be going somewhere, doing something later. Woo.

I miss Maya. I miss my boy. I cannot wait for our shopping spree this Friday, and partying this Saturday(!!). Gonna be aweeeesome. Speaking of awesome, GG's ep 13 is beyond awesome(!!). Sigh, Chuck + Blair = Love. And last night was good too. :) I like how happy my family are nowadays. Okay before I put my hopes up too high, I doubt this would last. It's a matter of time before any of us gets so, totally busy (as usual) with our lives. But I'm glad yesterday happened. Needed it. Kay gotta go down for lunch now, taaa~

human

2008-12-09T10:50:00.002+08:00

I feel like..
1) Shopping
2) Going to my aunt's house
3) Treating my family to some good food
4) Paying the library a visit
5) Doing something
6) Going somewhere
.
.

bundle of joy

2008-12-08T21:49:00.009+08:00

Selamat Hari Raya Haji to all my Muslim readers out there. :) How'd I spend the day, you ask? Here's how.

When I arrived she was nicely asleep in her baby cot, after two hours she's still having her pretty little sleep. But we still carried her around, because she's soo hard to resist. The poor little thing was probably freezing cuz the day was utterly cold.

I took a hundred pictures of her. I'm obsessed. I know and I can't help it. Anyway, gotta tuck into bed now. School's tomorrow and I cannot afford to skip classes anymore, considering the fact that I was awaken to my mum knocking on my room's door this morning and asking whether I've been expelled/suspended/or whatever along that line. Gawd mum, it's just a warning letter for poor attendance. Got a nice long lecture from the parents about taking my practicals only on weekends and at night ( despite them costing a lot more ) because school's top priority. But whatever.. Papa's paying not me, so goodnight and happy 19th Lynney love!

saturday night

2008-12-08T13:18:00.001+08:00

Our initial plans were dashed, so we ended up at The Balcony. Again, for me. Twice in the span of .. 2 months? But I love the place, really. :)

Yours truly's mango virgin margarita. Yummy.

Believe it or not, we ate those(!!). We three were shocked when that plate of wings arrived at our table. By the time we stuffed all those in our tummy, we were so full we can actually feel our cheeks and tummies expanding, thank you very much. My belt actually got tighter, when before that it was so loose I can spin it round and round around my waist. I don't even like fried chicken wings for God's sake. Yes, I'm not a fan of them hard to believe but really! No more chicken wings for a month kay babygirls? Haha.

Notice when I'm in the picture, it turned out blur? And when I'm not ( cuz I'm the one taking the picture !! ), it turned out perfectly pretty? Pfft, they both fail in hands steadiness.

Something hilarious happened. I don't even know where to begin. But bottomline is Lynney and I ended up laughing our heart's our in the middle of the street when one of Zulie's back heels decided to abandon her with a pretty darn loud sound while crossing the road. Sumpah aku terpranjat kay. Hahah. Sorry baby, just had to blog about it. But not in details, gotta thank me for that. ;)

Although, our plans for chunkfest and cafe del mar ( and Arena/Thumper/Zirca ) were dashed because of so many reasons ( and fickle mindedness of some people ).. it's probably for the best , since we're not complete without Niss and Ala. Maybe next time when we're all gathered, we'll have a blastin' good time? :) All in all I had fun, good catching up girls~ (L)(L)

it's compromise that keeps us going

2008-12-07T23:30:00.004+08:00

I really, really, really enjoyed today - the talk about everything. Although there's so many others around us, it feels like there's only the two of us. And although I have been shrugging it off nonchalantly, but I'm surprised at how far we've come. Three months to our three years. Wow.? One helluva ride with you, but it's worth it - every single shit we've gone through, I cherish them. Ily always.

P/S : I owe an update about yesterday. But maybe tomorrow? Or the day after? I really have no time. :( Sorry babygirls for the delay.

you have been the flame

2008-12-07T12:58:00.008+08:00

..when paranoia kicks in..

shopping makes me happy. not?

2008-12-05T11:08:00.003+08:00

Need someone to confiscate my ATM now. I've been spending like crazy. Not for myself, but for Maya(!!). And partly for me. I already am planning to buy a gazillion things since there's this four-letter word sign plastered all over the stores in Singapore. :( And the money in my bank account is rapidly depletinggg. But like eating, I cannot control this obsessive compulsive shopping habit. I'm already planning on buying some things over at Lot 1 while waiting for the boy to book out. Haha, I should just kill myself. Bye.

P/S : I saw this adorableee girl version of the santa outfit just now, with the hat! But its for above 6 months. Age discrimination much?

ramblin'

2008-12-03T15:19:00.002+08:00

Replies to tags from bottom-top :

♥ Nina : =) Yeah sure thing, see you around too! And I'm surprised you're a soccer player. Haha.

luqman : Hey luqman, dah tak sakit lagi? Haha.

Hana : Nice? Those are the cheesiest poems I've ever heard in my entire life!

lynney : Stop playing with my heart, bitch. But I really do hope you tag along.

izali : Not really new la. Kau je dah lame tak datang sini, MIA.

indahh : Fell in love with it?

syazia : Yaaaa, cannot. :( Sad siaa. 3 months? Haha jom! I really hope I'll be able to donate by then too! And thank you darling. (:

nuresna : Funny thing is, when I'm in school you're not. When I'm not in school, you're in school! Not fated, and no, I'm not sick. Sihat wal'afiat.

Alaa : Sedih kan kite, orang2 low blood. Padahal badan sihat. Hahah.

nuresna : GOT! You don't know?!

luqman : Hahaha. Stop it eh, luqman hakeem.

learning more and more

2008-12-03T12:59:00.007+08:00

Hello babies. I'm back. I've been preoccupied with so many things - both planned and spontaneous ones. I would love to say that I hate the latter, but those are the ones which make my life interesting. But I swear I cannot stand it when I have to sacrifice my plans of I-don't-know how long for these spontaneous ones. Gah. Whatever, as long as things go smoothly and I'm happy then all's good. So what's been keeping me busy, you ask? All kinds of things!

Work, for one. I'm thinking of quitting already. Because Naz, Fazlee, Hazim and Adi will be gone come next week. :( All the fun bunch are quitting, omg. And I'm left with all the girlies. Not that I abhor working with them, just that I never get the chance to socialize and be close to them. I've been working with the guys for the past 2 months(!). Now that they won't be here anymore - why stay on? Besides, I'm bored of working at FNO already. I'm thinking of hotel banqueting. For the experience. :) Pretty apt since I'm taking DHHM, so it'll be good for my own development. Still considering though.

I've been visiting CDC for the past two days already. Passed my BTT, thank God, now I'm gonna book for my FTT. I'm thinking of delaying my PDL for the time being. Simply because .. I have no timeee. I've got to set my priorities right, and this car license is numbered 5. God, even then, I still think that I have insufficient time for the rest of the things/people in my life. Sucks when you have to please everyone and make time for everything, but yourself.

Next and probably the highlight is this little star of mine! Okay, not really mine but yeah .. you get the point. I fell in love with her the moment I laid my eyes on her small little pink body. Maya Maisarah is her name. I was so delighted beyond words when I got to know my aunt gave birth to a babygirl. We've been waiting anxiously to know her gender, but everytime we get her scanned, her part is being covered. She's probably shy, but it's definitely worth the wait! I've been silently praying for my aunt to have a girl. :) Thank God. She's beautiful, her hands so tiny, and her cheeks so pink and fluffy(!!). I love her. I've already planned on buying her all things cute and pink! Pretty bow headbands, pink little maryjane pump shoes, jumpsuits, tights and gowns ( not that she's able to wear it when she's 3 days old, but she'll be able to wear that when she's older ) and tiny socks. I also intend to make her a teddy bear at Suntec City Mall. The boy and I went to the place on Saturday, and I told him that when my aunt gives birth I'm gonna make a bear for the baby and dress it up. And the very next day, she's born! What a coincedence right? Heheh. I loike.

So yesterday after my BTT, I went hunting for her headbands ( I cannot resist babies wearing handbeands pls ) and her jumpsuit. Sadly, I wasn't able to find headbands for newborns. :( But I got a very adorable pink jumpsuit for her at Fox babies. And btw, can someone please tell me where Topshop babies is located at? I cannot remember whether it's at Marina Square or Vivo. Please tag if you do know. Thank you! :) So yes, as you can very much tell, I'm very obsessed over Maya. Not that I'm gonna neglect Mikhail though, - he's still my little darling. And I want to get him a top that says "I'm the big brother". Hahah. So cute.

Definitely gonna visit her again on Monday. :) Cannot wait!

So anyway, I check my mail just now and lookie-look at what I saw!

Ms Wennie Ang is getting married! Funny how I used to despise her, and my worst nightmare came true when she became my Math teacher in sec 4. However, after two years of getting to know her, she's not that bad afterall. In fact, she's now one of my favourite teacher. Awesome teaching and thanks to her - I passed my math. :) Anyway, looking at her photoshoot pictures I already have some plans for my own(!!). Haha. I would want the photoshoot places to be all the memorable places where my future husband to be has spent together during our courting years. Even if the place is at some bawah block, where he actually did something awesomely sweet - pon jadi la. It'll be like our little storybook of pictures, portraying the days spent together. Omg, I'm getting eggcited for nothing. Back to Ms W.A - I am totallie going for this! So my dearest 5NB babies of 2007, let's go together and do something suuuweeeet for our favourite ( and one and only ) math teacher(!!).

I'm trying not to be annoyed with the fact that my plans aren't going well. :( But sigh, hope all goes well yeah. I'm soo tired considering the fact that I got home pretty darn late last night after going out the whole entire day. Oh gosh. I was this close to not attending school this morning. But it'll be a terrible thing to not attend school for three days in a row, right? I don't intend to make it a (bad) habit anyway. Great thing is, I don't regret cuz this is by far the slackest Communication day evaaa. Melissa's not here and there's a relief. Awesome much?

I miss my family. I know, I know. I've been saying that I miss them since like forever. But I can't help it that every measly time that I can spare at home, the rest aren't there. Even on the day my Mum and I went to the hospital to visit Maya, Papa fetched us. I was seriously hungry since I haven't had anything to eat since morning. So I wanted to have a meal before going off to work, but even while I was eating - I feel terribly guilty for holding my dad back and having him wait for me because he obviously have important things to deal with since he was on the phone all the while. Do you know how it felt? Sad to the absolute core. I hate it when we all start growing up and growing apart. I'm afraid of neglecting the people I care for and the people who care for me. I know the feeling. It sucks. But I try.. to divide the little time I have for every single one of them. It's almost impossible and I have tried to the point of exhaustion of pleasing everyone but myself. Keyword here is per-freaking-severance right, Mac? :) Haha. I don't make sense sometimes, sorry.

On a lighter note, there's sales everywhere(!!!). Time to shop till I drop, baby! Oh, and I saw feather peacock earrings at Diva the other day and I didn't get them because they're ugly. Haha. I'm so annoying when I want something so bad at one point of time, and when I have the chance to seize it at another point of time, I wouldn't want it already. Oh well. I'd rather wait for the exact, perfect thing rather than settling for something less satisfying.

everything's such a blur

2008-11-30T10:20:00.004+08:00

I ended up not being allowed to donate blood due to low blood pressure and low iron level. Disappointed much? So, I told the boy I need to eat more salt and more beef. And he brought me to Macdonalds to have big mac and fries. I feel like a pig eating a big mac by myself. Didn't finish it though. Cuz it's huge. The boy had the mega one and ended up finishing mine. My goodness.

Okay I gotta go. AUNTY LYN JUST FCUKING GAVE BIRTH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lace and leather

2008-11-28T13:23:00.005+08:00

Replies to tags :

Alaa : :( Oh mayn . Macam mane bley clash sey timing? Tsk, not fated. And thanks~ :D Haha. Lame eh. Takmu jealous, you've got Didil. Pelan2 kayuh k. Heh.

♥Nina : Thank you sweets! Oh, and I've linked you up.

Firr : It's not every single day right mister.

nuresna : Hahah. I KNOW RIGHT(!!). Your A friend, S.

queer

2008-11-28T11:25:00.004+08:00

Who drinks passion fruit & Oreo flavoured bubble tea right? It's not even on the menu list, for God's sake! Apparently, Mac does.

I swear the aunty had a disgusted look on her face just now.

million little pieces

2008-11-27T12:55:00.005+08:00

Saturday is free entry to Powerhouse for poly students. :) But .. I already have plans to go for the blood donation drive and I.T fair afterwards. I wonder if I'll still have the energy to party after a heeuge amount of blood have been drained from my body - which I seriously doubt so, I bet I'll be dizzy I'd faint haha. But then again, maybe not ( cuz I'm strong hee ). Idk but I wanna go. I wanna see Izzul do his party boy gay dance there hahaha. Okay no. Anyway, my whole class is starting to do extensions on their hair. Okay maybe not the whole class. But majority of the girls. Woo cool shiat.

VB is killing me and making matt crazy. Haha. He has to do that for the next two years. Oh my god. If I were him, I'd take the easy way out and just hang myself.

Oh, I have tons of Blair/Chuck/music videos from youtube in my Ipod already. Am I a happy girl? I sure am. :) Heh.

I miss Aan. We both have been soo busy with our own lives (work, school) that I haven't seen him for a week already, and to think we live in the same house(!). A few nights ago, I had a talk with him on the phone - not enough. So I texted him just now to ask whether he'll be working late again tonight and he's not(!!). I told him to come home straight for some bonding time with me haha. Shameless much? Tonight I intend to spend time with my family. And tell Papa I want that phone below. :) Hopefully, he'll be home early tonight.

be in my hands now

2008-11-27T10:57:00.005+08:00

I'm lusting over this phone. THIS, exactly this. No slide, no touch - sorry I just don't fancy touch screens gadgets ( thus, the reason why I refused ipod touch from the boy as my birthday gift ) and slide phones are boring. This one is just flip and qwerty keypad(!!) Plus there's two friggin' screens! Awesome much? My kind of phone pleaseeeeee. If only it's out in SG. But whatever, I'm gonna try my luck over at the IT fair this weekend. Who knows hopefully it'll be there haha. Gawd, I'm going crazy.

thirty twoooo

2008-11-27T09:22:00.003+08:00

" The journey we had is sometimes hard, but I love you no matter what with all my heart.
When I'm alone, everyday is a normal day, but with you around - everyday is Valentine's day.
Shooting stars always cross the beautiful night, with my armor I wanna be your shiny knight.
Before 27.03.06 I don't know the meaning of life, until you came in and be my beautiful wife.
I love you."

"I was proud of you when you received your bursary, but today, I'm more proud to say to you - Happy 32th anniversary."

I love you silly boy and all your cheesy poems. Happy anniversary! :)

you ready b?

2008-11-26T21:02:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling extremely tuckered out. Must be from yesterday. Work was draining every single bit of energy from me, I swear. All I ate yesterday was a hotdog bun and fruits - which lasted me the whole effing day. For a Tuesday night, the crowd was crazy. Doesn't help that I'm the only one on the floor and I also have to do the bar too. Gawd. What I hate most is the part when my body, no doubt, is utterly tired but my brain just can't stop functioning and have some rest. So yeah, it took me some time for me to get some sleep. :( Despite my weariness, I had fun. School was blah. Communication module ugh. I was very satisfied to see a B grade for Science though ( after soo long ). Hah, must be the last sentence I wrote to her in the RJ. No questions asked, I still hate her. After school was what's fun. Met up with my babygirl, accompanied her to get her phone serviced and we bumped into Syazia, what a total coincidence right? Great thing was we all live in the same neighbourhood, 239, 237(?) and 234. So after all is done, we went home together.

.
.

On a totallie random note, I miss the boy. I miss my boy so much. :(

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation

2008-11-26T14:23:00.001+08:00

The next Lily Allen ♥. I'm in love with her foundations video. I'm in a pretty good mood taking in consideration the day before was really a tough one for me to get through. Today's Wednesday, tomorrow's Thursday and then, it's F-F-F-FRIDAY!

chuck bass

2008-11-25T13:00:00.001+08:00

I want this in my Ipod N.O.W.

daydreamer

2008-11-24T19:17:00.004+08:00

I've made up my mind,
No need to think it over,
If I'm wrong I ain't right,
No need to look no further,
This ain't lust,
This is love but..
If i tell the world,
I'll never say enough,
Cause it was not said to you.
And thats exactly what i need to do,
If I'm in love with you.

I love Adele. She reminds me of the time I was working at the Cathay building - singing the soundtracks of my life there. Good times, good times.

As soon as I end this, I'm gonna snuggle in bed and read Hurting Distance. Yay.

he was a skater boy, she said see you later boy

2008-11-24T11:02:00.004+08:00

Chris says I'm dressed like a skater girl today. Literally LOL. Me? Skater girl? Got to be kidding man. If it's the boy, yes. But even then, he has retired. I hate to admit this but I sometimes miss the days when I used to accompany him skate and me drooling over his hawt bod covered in sweat glistening in the sun. But whatever, I never really liked him skating anyway. Thus the reason why he stopped. (: Like what he said .. "zaman gemilang" dah lepas. Haha.

Look at his hair(!!). He's way at the back in black and white tee if you can't see. Boy do I miss his hair. :(

midnight bottle

2008-11-23T21:04:00.009+08:00

Hey babies. :) I'm back. And I'm tireddd. The weekends went by way too fast, didn't it? And now, I'm back to surviving the next 5 weekdays. . alone. I'm already starting to miss the boy.

We went grocery shopping Friday night after having dinner at Lot 1. I think I'm so bored of Lot 1 already. I've been going there every Friday for the past .. 10 weeks? When they boy starts running late, I'll be going round the mall and end up buying this and that. So I kept nagging at the boy incessantly to not keep me waiting to prevent me from shopping unnecessarily. I bought a slip dress last Friday. I did not need that btw. I was also this close to buying Aan a hair dye and the boy a pack of cigarettes. What the hell is wrong with me right. I do not condone smoking pls.

Two things the boy did that night that made me melt like crazy. :) One was when we were in the freezing cold bus, he actually salvage through his huge bag to get me his sweater. Next was when I texted him at the most ungodly hour of the night just because I was feeling soooooo insecured about something. Few seconds later, he called me up eventhough he's dead beat, just to reassure me that I'm not fat. Hahaha. I know what's up with me right?! But seriously, I think I'm fat kay. Got to stop gaining weight.

So anyway, on Saturday night, the boy fetched me from work and off we went to his place. Since we all ( his family and myself ) haven't had dinner, it's pretty apt. I think they're secretly waiting for my spaghetti hehe. It was fun cooking with the boy! He didn't screw up or anything, just that I got annoyed when he doesn't know where all the stuffs are in his very own kitchen. Ni la orang tak pernah tolong maknye masak kan. Haha.

Ha was watching us cook all the while in the kitchen. And she mistook mushrooms for onions twice hahaha. So cute.

It turned out great. :) The boy and Ha had seconds.

After dinner we just chilled and played counter strike, which I won btw.

Me : "Eh you tgk, Ha cute sey dalam gambar ni."
Him : "Biase la tgk abg die sape, tapi asal blur sey?"
Me : "Pasal blur la sebab tu die nampak cute. Kalau tak, tak cute je"
Hahaha. And he looked as though he was gonna smack my face right then and there when I said that. Cannot take joke ar this one.

Ha : "Eh!! Kakak Iaa ( yes, she calls me that. In fact all his family members call me "iaa" -_- pronounced as eee-ya ) tak macam kakak Iaa sey dalam gambar ni. Macam kakak lain."

I was soo eggcited to see the long stretch of road behind my house has opened(!!!!) just now while walking back home from work. I remember a few days back I told the boy that if I could I wanna speed on that road once it's opened and once I get the license ( which I predict will be next year? ). I'm soo tempted. Too bad Aan's at work, if not I'd drag him to ride me along that road to make me have a feel of it. One fine day, I hope. Can't wait. :)

Replies to tags :

Firr : Haha. Yeah, hope so. :) And hell yeah, fcuking interesting modules(!!) Gerek kape.

iqah : You take 168 too?! Omg. Sorry, I can be totally oblivious to strangers in public. So pls do say hi next time you see me kay? :)

nuresna : Yes, marketing baby. Which I have a feeling it's gonna suck a bit. The least intriguing module for me. :( I'll hunt you down if I have doubts on it kay darling? Hehe. And PE?! Wow. Btw, pls make yourself free for lunch one of the days this week. All three of us. :)

ida : You're welcome dear.

Nurul : Hey you! Yeah I'll link you up. See ya around in RP too prettyhead. :D

we have come a long way

2008-11-21T14:06:00.004+08:00

My modules for year 2. Awesome much?! B312(!!!). Ahhh, love. I cannot wait. Downside is, I have to attend school every single day. But it'd better be worth it.

rockferry

2008-11-21T10:56:00.002+08:00

These cramps are perpetually repeating itself and I hate it. I feel like shopping.

Mac is upset with me because I didn't tag her for the survey thing. :( Sorry, baby. Public apology please. Hee. But you can't blame me - you take forever to do these kind of things. And and and, you'll ask me what to write. Pretty redundant, isn't it? So if you still wanna do it, feel free kay? (L)

one finger and im out, cuz you're not even worth two

2008-11-20T21:29:00.005+08:00

Put up your peace sign, put your index down

Put up your peace sign, put your index down
Put up your peace sign, put your index down
Put up your peace sign, put your index down

fastball

2008-11-20T10:21:00.005+08:00

N video called me twice today. I think somebody misses me. Serves you right for canceling out on us tonight(!). Heh, but it's okay. Raincheck okay? School was fine today. VB codes haha what's so fine about that? I left early for my practical. I think I still suck at my sharp turns and the fact that I was pretty much dehydrated/hungry to the core didn't exactly help. On top of that, these killer stomach cramps - I was this close to crying because it hurts sooo bad. :( And I feel so uncomfortable I just can't concentrate. But thankfully, I didn't hit any motorcyclist there ha ha.

I think Arief was very sweet yesterday. He bought a bouquet of flowers and a birthday card for this girl from his IG and had it delivered to her class by some dude. He had me write "anonymous and sign off anonymously ( how the hell do someone sign off anonymously right!? I just cursive-d the word "laugh" and a heart shape beside it hahaha ) on the card. And I was like hello, there's this huge space and you just want me to write that? -_- I mean, at least write a little note or something right? But nooo, he refused. Then, I was like fine, it's your surprise. And today he sent me that girl's blog link .. and the girl said the card was redundant! Hahaha. I told you so, Arief. Listen to big sister's advice next time kay? But despite it, I still think it was a very sweet gesture. And the sunflower was beautiful. :)

I think I'm juggling too many things at a time already, to the point of slight exhaustion. School, work, family, the boy, car license, friends-slash-social life (I have like more than 5 different group of friends pls, how can I have time for all of them? :( ) and no, I barely have time for myself anymore. I can't even remember the last time I actually spend the day lazing around on my bed and just reading a book ( my secret favourite thing to do actually, I'm such a nerd, I know ). In fact, I haven't even finish reading my basic theory handbook(!!). Come to think about it, it's less than 2 weeks away from my test. I am so screwed. Gotta keep up and re-look into my priorities again. Sigh.

The class was shocked to learn that I actually got 14points for my Os and chose RP. In fact, almost everybody I know are shocked. Fact is, I hate that feeling actually. I still am pretty much skeptical on whether I have made the right choice coming here. I mean I could have gone to better schools. I wanted tourism and hospitality at TP so badly, then. But the COP was 10(!!). I, being Ria, tend to underestimate myself too much, that I actually never considered gambling and just put that as my first choice once I got to know my results. So instead, I put that course as my fourth, the first three being all the other hospitality courses at RP hahaha. Okay fine. I'm such a noob. But whatever, I shan't regret. I have made tons of wonderful friends and despite the exhausting travelling every single day to and fro, I think it's worth it. :) I'll just make the best of my time here. Besides, a few more months and I'll already be in my second year in RP. So yeah. :)

Oh, Nuffnang is having a blood donation drive soon! I'm eggcited because I have always, always, always wanted to donate my blood. The least I could do to help enhance other people's lives, no? And I might just be registering for it(!) I cannot wait. So what are you all waiting for? Go, go, go!

sorry I cant count

2008-11-19T22:40:00.003+08:00

1)Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2)People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little know facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3)At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged & list their names
4)No tag back.

Tagged by:

1. I hate inconsiderate smokers. They can go and die and rot in hell pls.
2. When I want something so badly, I get it. Everytime, sooner or later. I work hard for it. Nothing comes easy.
3. I want to travel the world.
4. I cannot stand the boy last time. I used to hate his guts and his well-known attitude of being such an asshole ( eventhough I used to admire his looks/body/hair secretly, only N knows about this I think ), back then when we're in high school, but funny how I ended up being with him.
5. I love perfumes. I have a wide variety collection of them on my shelf. :)
6. I eat ( way too much ) when I'm depressed. I don't eat when I'm happy and contented. So make me happy, people.
7. I think Chuck Bass is the sexiest character ever. You, Micheal Scofield, have been dethroned.
8. I cannot stand it when people do things so slowly. I get totallie impatient.
9. I think the boy is so sexy when he's seriously pissed of with me, scolding me and being so protective over me. Weird fetish or whut? I should just shoot myself in the head.
10. I want to live in a small flat when I get married. 2 rooms is enough, really. I don't fancy living in a big house. Give me the creeps.

I tag :
1. Nina
2. Zulie
3. Fel
4. Luqman
5. Fir

blindfold me

2008-11-19T14:19:00.003+08:00

Hi, I hate this thing on my face. It was initially a harmless whitehead which evolved to an annoying blackhead and my itchy hand just had to squeeze it out on Friday. And I think my fingernails were to sharp/long or that I'm just a noob at squeezing them white/blackheads ( the boyfriend does it for me everytime, believe it or not ), that I think my skin probably tore or what la. Thus, there's a red mark on it the size of Vivo city ( joke ). Fugly much?

Tonight Lynney baby asked me along for ladies night at Arena. I would love to go ( free entry, free flow of vodka and lychee martini .. tempting much? ) but .. haha get this, Naz didn't get a replacement for me so I have work later tonight and I have UT tomorrow morning and not only that, I have my practical tomorrow evening. How the fuck can I stay awake, you tell me? I'd probably end up driving the car and hitting the motorcyclist there or something. So maybe next time k baby? :) I have other priorities hahaha.

I'm excited for Friday/Saturday ( despite the fact that I have to work on both days of the weekend(!!) ) because .. the boy and I are going grocery shopping and we're cooking pasta on Saturday night together for dinner! Hehehe. Spells fun and hopefully not disaster. :)

dump

2008-11-18T21:08:00.003+08:00

A look inside my fila bag, there's..

1) Like a gazillion receipts thrown inside.
2) An eclipse mint box, which I store my hairbands and bobby pins.
3) Ricola, clorets, mints, chewing gums.
4) My black book filled with schedules, notes, stickers, random writings ( which just now the boy and I played a game to write as many things as we like about each other in 60seconds in it. Both got 11. How pathetic. But he cheated cuz he distracted me. )
5) 2 necklaces, 2 pairs of hoop earrings. I wonder how long it's been in there.
6) Ipod.
7) My favourite baby pink Nike bottle. Because it's my only bottle, because it reminds me of KL, and because the boy got it for me because it's small, cute and pink.
8) Wet tissues and tissues, that I cannot live without.
9) A comb.
10) 1 marker, 2 black pens, 1 blue pen, 1 pink pen. Seriously, I don't understand why I need so many pens.
11) Lipbalm.
12) Some promotion flyers some China lady passed to me.
13) My pearl bracelet(!!!) :( Which snapped. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
14) Guess wallet, which I seriously NEED a new one. Because it doesn't look brand new anymore ha ha.
15) Ipod cable.
16) Perfume. It changes constantly. From VS to Clinique to Davidoff. Current one is Britney spear's. Speaking of perfume, my brother robbed my Romance by Ralph Lauren perfume. What a bitch. It's a woman's perfume(!!). Wtf, wtf, wtf!
17) Hair clip.

That's all, folks. All kinds of junks in my bag. I throw them all in. The boy gets pissed with me every single time to see the mess in my bag. But I like it that way. That's why I love big bags. :)

Anyway, I'm so effing excited for the 6th that I WANT TO TYPE IN CAPS AND EXCESSIVE EXCLAIMATION MARKS!! Which I already did, but I'm trying to contain my excitement.

Because .. life's a bitch right lynney? :) But I have a feeling it'll all happen and we girlfriends are going to KICK-FUCKING-ASSSSSS!!!!!

K goodnight.

epitome of a good day

2008-11-18T19:54:00.003+08:00

.. Of spontaneous plans and pure fun.

Hello, I decided to skip school today. Because well, Elene's sucha bitch - I hate her to the core and I'd rather not see her at all and also the fact that the boy managed to book out yesterday evening (!!) . We had dinner last night and today, we decided to just spend the whole entire day together. It's been so long since we did this, and boy, did I have fun. The plan was there's no plan at all. And that's eggciting because we went just about anywhere at just about anytime. A place popped in our minds that very second, and off we went - no questions asked! After going to like four places, we ran out of places to go.. So, while walking around the streets of town, I decided to just pull him to Swensens to get ourselves ... yes, you guessed it(!) chocolate fondue~ (: Oooh heaven. I got myself a grand total of 2 earrings today. :) Almost got myself like .. 4 more but I'll be crazily broke by then. Aldo is my new love. The day was beautiful. Everything seemed so good. He was totally sweet. We talked about everything and anything, laughing away as though what had happened a couple of weeks back never ever existed. Pretty much like the old times where everything was just .. perfect. I want it to be this way. Not necessarily everyday for the rest of our days together. But at least for a very, very long time would be nice. :) Thank you so much for today. I love you. Always have, always will.

P/S : Sorry for the lousy quality pictures. Didn't bring my canon.

blah

2008-11-17T15:01:00.002+08:00

Hi to you who googled me and my blog. If you actually took the extra mile to google me, why don't you leave a tag too.? :) I don't bite.

musings

2008-11-17T12:23:00.006+08:00

Major backache again. Funny thing is that it hits me the worst when I'm in school, sitting in the class' shitty seats probably. I've been adjusting it higher because I learnt that if I sit on lower level chairs, it would aggravate the pain more. But it's still the same yo. Gawd.

So anyway, time time time. It's a terrible feeling to know that it doesn't wait for you. You have to constantly run to keep up with it. Sometimes I feel that I'm not even living this life. Just going about doing things like a robot and basically, surviving. So the other night while the boy and I was walking back home, he mentioned that we're four months short to our third friggin' year together. And I was like . . woah, seriously? That very same night before I went to bed I reminisced on my life. From when I was thirteen all the way till now. Boy, have I made my mistakes and gone through a whole life turmoil. But I realised I've lead a pretty much fruitful one. I've learnt to be a little more wiser, a little more stronger. Independence, that's the word. I don't depend on people too much. However with this boy of mine - I depend a lot. Wayyy too much. I don't know how I've become so reliant on him. I've burnt too many bridges along the way. Some I've regretted, some I feel it's probably for the best since they don't understand my situation or rather how strongly I feel towards him. But the former .. I sometimes feel that same tug on my heart when I think about the times we've shared and spent .. And letting it go just for this relationship..? I still don't know if it's worth it. But one thing is for sure, I have never blamed the boy for this. It's all me, my own decision. So yeah, nobody ever said it's going to be easy anyway. I'm pretty much afraid of growing up too fast; not being able to savour all the little bits and pieces, those intricate details of my life that glues up to be me, Ria. I'm afraid of what the future has in store for me, all the other challenges and obstacles that I have to face. I don't know what's going to happen, but one thing I know for sure, with my life, is that I want to go through all that with you by my side. All the way, baby, all the way.

.
.

Now, a quick shout out to Fel!

Happy turning 18! May all your wishes and dreams come true. :)

.
.

Replies to tags

Ala : I know right. Aku pon macam wow-ed.

zulie : Thanks darling. :) (L) And now you, what's wrong?

lynney : Haha. Yes, thanks. And totallie, it's awesome. The only thing that's missing is probably a pool. And he is single, but you're not. :D

the sound of settling

2008-11-16T00:20:00.014+08:00

Now that we're back on track, I hope things will get back as per normal. No more eating to my hearts content, no more feeling extremely melancholic, no more thinking too much till my brain hurts. I hope this time it'll be good, if not better. Let's make it work cuz baby, you know I'm not ready to let go of you completely. Not now, not ever I hope. I hope there will be no distance that could hold us back.

So anyway, today we attended his bunkmate's birthday party. But before that, we did some shopping. :) I'm very contented with my buys but .. I'm upset that I couldn't find that particular earrings. And guess what? I actually got utterly eggcited to see peacock's feathers at f21, but(!!!) they're only on hair-goddamn-pins and necklaces. Like hello, where are the earrings dude?! Ugh. Oh and he surprised me with the most beautiful bouquet evaaa, at least the most beautiful out of the others that he had bought for me the past years. :) Reason was : it's been 8months since he bought me flowers. Aww. Happy girl much, Ria?

Yeah, that's the birthday boy's place. It was amazing. Four friggin storeys high. And that's my favourite boy.

The spread of food. :D It was awesome. Pasta, sushi, cheese sausages, fruit tarts, chocolate dipped strawberries - tell me, how can I resist? All are my favourites!

I'm only happy when you're around.

The birthday boy was serenading us with some songs on his piano. The most beautiful song was probably superman by five for fighting.

Hahahaha. He looks like an idiot.

Hands down, this is the best picture of the night. Haha.

Tour of his house.

There was a billiard table on the 4th level, can you believe it!? Gawd.

Xavier is one crazy driver. We were like drifting. Literally. And me on the back seat was like sliding from right to left, with the help of my silk dress and the smooth leather seat of cuz.

I want my own car too when I get my driving license. So I can pimp it up. Heh. But let's get that piece of plastic first and we'll talk. :) Anyway since tomorrow I have a wedding to attend to, it's about time I hit the sack now. Nights, dolls.

p/s : Thank you so much girlfriends for everything. Loves.

downdowndown

2008-11-14T15:49:00.003+08:00

I'm pretty much getting sick and tired of being mistaken as a Chinese. :( How can I look more Malay? Any suggestions? And red pencil thin high-arc eyebrows, wearing tight fitting clothes and showing maximum cleavage will be ignored, thanks.

Oh, I think I'm falling sick, again. :( Life sucks so bad at this point of time.

hi

2008-11-14T10:15:00.002+08:00

I have tons of other pictures to upload from the DHHM's retreat. But maybe next time yeah?

For now .. more hot milo please mhhmm, I'm freezing cold in class.

epic of something so wonderful

2008-11-13T01:07:00.007+08:00

You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales - that fantasy of what your life would be; white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairytale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is - its hard to let go of that fairytale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Time will only tell.

ups and downs

2008-11-12T22:45:00.005+08:00

At the rate I'm stuffing myself this past week, I'm seriously gonna gain 10pounds come december. Why is it that I'm sad, stressed, depressed or anywhere along that line, I'd tend to fill my emptiness with food? Cannot keep this up or I'll balloon to twice my size. :( And why is it that I always take a longer time to register some post-trauma-experience into my brain? It's funny when a major bad-thing happens to me, it will take some time for me to finally face it. So last night I finally shed my post-trauma-experience tears, which is probably a week overdue already. God, I think something's wrong with me.

On a much lighter note, I visited the salon just now to do a little something-something to cheer me up. :) And if that wasn't enough, my dearest bitch came to visit me at my house. We basically just spent time lazing around in my bed, talking and catching up on things, updating each other on the stuffs that have been going on in our lives, eating our hearts out to popcorns, chips, chocolate biscuits, apple tea, laughing and going on incessantly about all things under the sun, taking loser-fied pictures of us ( which sadly, none looks decent enough to post up here. sorry ), drooling over Chuck Bass ( me ), Nate Archibald ugh! ( her ) and Blair Waldorf ( us ♥ ) , oh and scaring the shit out of each other while visiting www.hotel626.com, which we ended up knocking our heads into each other in complete shock, and only to find out our picture wasn't taken ( geez what a fcuked up website ). It was fun. :) Wished she had slept over though. But you know, instead of sleeping, we'd probably end up just talking and talking and talking the night away. I miss her already. It's funny how we've grown up but never have we really grown apart. I love you, baby, thank you for listening and just basically, being here. :)

coincedence much?

2008-11-12T13:48:00.003+08:00

I have got to blog about this. Among many others, I shall start with this. Same thing, different people and for two consecutive days. Yesterday, Ein suddenly nudged me in MSN and said he dreamt about me two nights ago. Something about him asking me to go to the shop, and I never returned haha. And today, just in fact, Nabiil did the same thing in MSN and said he too dreamt about me last night! This time, it's about him dating me, we were having lunch at KFC and suddenly Saiful gunned Nabiil down hahaha. Hilarious, I cannot stop laughing.

Oh and I too had my share of dreams. Or rather a nightmare. I cannot stop thinking about it ( it's driving me crazzzy ). But I don't think I'll disclose it here. It's my prerogative, yes?

tuesday

2008-11-11T12:08:00.007+08:00

Last night ended off pretty badly, the morning started off like shit but the class was great. Thank god for awesome classmates. No thanks to the sucky module and even suckier faci tho.

Dear Module Chair of A102,
I, Ria Shafiqah, on behalf of class E36D would like to enlighten you with the fact that we ALL hate our facilitator and would like her to be gone ASAP. Here are 23 signatures.

Thank you and have a nice day.

Love, Ria.

Think it'd work? Hah. I wish.

So anyway, 18 November is module selection day for year 2(!!) Am I eggcited or what?! :D Can't wait to get down to the nitty-gritty real business over here. Diploma in Hotel & Hospitality Management here I come, babies!

Oh and the word "November" just struck me that it's already the 11th month of the year. Another year and bubbye 2008, hello 2009. Boy, isn't time rocketing. I'll get back to this topic more later. Don't know when. But soon. :)

white flag

2008-11-10T12:09:00.005+08:00

A picture says a thousand words. This picture pretty much explains what I've been feeling this past week. I don't know which is harder - holding on or letting go. I think I'm finally scared now.

world spins madly on

2008-11-08T20:56:00.001+08:00

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

comfort

2008-11-07T13:24:00.004+08:00

I regret buying Milky Way instead of Meiji. V and Chris gave me extremely orgasmic Meiji chocolates, makes my Milky Way seem inferior. ): Can't blame me - I cannot read Japanese, or whatever language it is on the package.

On a totally disgusting note, I woke up just to vomit out my beef bolognaise at 1am this morning. Oh and I cried. Post-vomiting trauma : it's always like that.

Today is Friday. But it feels different. I'm not excited or happy. Not anymore at least.

accomplished

2008-11-06T15:17:00.001+08:00

I can tie a knot using those long sweets with my tongue, can you? Hehe. :D

bla?

2008-11-06T11:03:00.004+08:00

My back is killing me. It's been perpetually hurting me for the past, like what .. a month already? :( Ugh. And why is it that it's universally acknowledged when one thing goes entirely wrong in life, the rest just falls right into place? i dont know whether to be happy or .. well, extremely sad. i choose in between kay?

i want little rascals movie in my ipod. i have 90.9GB free in it hahah. kiasu much ria wanting the biggest gb ipod in the world. hehe but it makes me happy to know i can put all kinds of junk it it. i shall go on a scavenger hunt to search for more movies and tv shows to be put in lilo. hmm i was thinking of the whole season of lipstick jungle, samantha who, PB, whatever. and maybe some music clips too . but seriously, i will have to download limewire. oh gosh. my laptop's space is already dying on me. so how now brown cow.

and i love my brother. he has been there for me for the past few days. its amazing. he was actually up all night in my room trying to coax and talk to me while i was busy crying my lungs out. hmm well.

and i think my dad gave me a trick question this morning by asking me which one do i want - the bigger bucks in his right hand or the lesser bucks in his left. i chose the right one. i think.

no other way

2008-11-05T20:04:00.005+08:00

Now we're bound to linger on

We drink the fatal drop
Then love until we bleed
Then fall apart in parts

So soft, so suddenly
So that I can not breathe
I'm drawn into a circle painted black
Like lightning in my heart
A kiss so burning hot
I'm hanging on a thread that's bound to drop

Like rain on open skies
Don't know the reason why
But I'll always choose the black in front of white

Oh I'm hanging high
Oh won't you let me down
Back where I started at
You know I'm a little lost

eighteen

2008-11-05T13:59:00.004+08:00

Happy 18th birthday Ian Luke Joseph! Enjoy the beer and the cake. :) Love ya.

p/s : Ugh, I got photographed despite looking like a mess. Hope it doesn't go to RP's website or anything public. I'd just die.

too fast to digest

2008-11-05T08:52:00.001+08:00

I'm still trying to believe this is for the best.

rescue me

2008-11-02T15:27:00.002+08:00

Truthfully, I'm so drained. Too many things to do, too little time. Too many friends to catch up with, too many activities and plans to deal with, too many things to think about and I'm trying my best to keep up. My eyebags are horrible and I need sleep. Been up so late for the past week and the holiday breezed by too fast. :( I hate it. Pointless. But thank you for the last post baby, it was sweet. I love you. Gotta go now.

Unbelievable

2008-11-02T12:43:00.000+08:00

Always said I would know where to find love,
Always thought I'd be ready and strong enough,
But some times I just felt I could give up.
But you came and you changed my whole world now,
I'm somewhere I've never been before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be.

In my heart, in my head, it's so clear now,
Hold my hand you've got nothing to fear now,
I was lost and you've rescued me some how-.
I'm alive, I'm in love you complete me,
And I've never been here before.
Now I see, what love means.

It's so unbelievable,
And I don't want to let it go,
Something so beautiful,
Flowing down like a waterfall.
I feel like you've always been,
Forever a part of me.
And it's so unbelievable to finally be in love,
Somewhere I'd never thought I'd be

For You :)

Little lulu

2008-10-31T23:01:00.007+08:00

Okay, I'll tell you the story behind this one. I was busy snapping pictures of the boy while we were waiting for the bus, and I think he got majorly irritated or something to the extent he just played along with me . . So, he started striking poses after poses. Which was hilarious because you should see the poses he made hahaha. ( Without his consent, I shall not post them up. :) He might just be embarrassed for life. ) So after like a gazillion shots of him, he asked me to be his model instead. So there, my lame attempt at striking a pose. Ria a model? Seriously cannot make it la. I looked like a total idiot.

I complained to the boy about how much I hated my eyes. I think it's because of my barely there double eyelids & small eyes that I never fail to get mistaken as a Chinese. Ergh. But he couldn't understand the part on why I keep hating myself and parts of my body. That's just what girls do, right? Never happy with their body image, but I'm accepting it. Really.

I was so eggcited to see him with hair ( eventhough its not his and he looks like a faggot ) that I screamed when I viewed the picture. I wanted to take more pictures of it, but the bus arrived.

So we tried to take a few shots, which failed because he ended up looking like a retarded emo kid?

And I finuhlay pimped up my Compaq(!!). Yay. I love the stickers. Oh, and I got a new laptop casing too. The pink diseased one has got to go. :)

I think I should name my Compaq too. . Any ideas? Lilo and Lola's taken. Maybe . . Lulu?

That black book is my journal cum organiser. It's packed with my schedules (!!), my plans, my wants/needs/lusts lists, quotes, doodling(s) and et cetera. I pimped it up too, as y'all can see.

I think I'm getting to be a much better person. At least I'm able to put my ego which is the size of the planet earth aside, and be more willing to forgive and forget. Good job, Ria. You deserve a pat on the back. :) Oh and I personally think I look good in green(!!!) :D

peace, laughter, joy

2008-10-30T20:14:00.007+08:00

There was a whole lot of kissing yesterday. But of course, I'm still pure. :) Haha.

The best one probably went to these two dudes. Izzul kissing Arief's sensitive spot - his neck.

Coke light and mentos? Oh yeah, it works.

I had a good laugh looking back at all the gazillion, failed jump shots we took. These 3 were the only decent looking ones. The rest . . hahaha, you wouldn't wanna see. It was hilarious.

Okay that's all. There's videos, but I'm utterly lazy to post them up. You can probably watch them at Izzul's or Arief's instead.

hair day

2008-10-30T19:42:00.007+08:00

If you could only see the way he loves me, then maybe you would understand why I feel this way about our love, and what I must do. If you could only see how brown his eyes can be when he says he loves me . . then maybe you'll understand.

Hello, you. I kinda, like, miss you. And your pretty hair. ): Come back soon.

balcony

2008-10-30T01:50:00.000+08:00

Singapore sling, sex on the beach ( haha, shut up Izzul ), snowball and Sea breeze.

Oh gosh, I'm so tired. Work in the morning till evening. After work drinks with them people. And tomorrow - repeat the cycle. Yay. My camera can go and die. More pictures will be up next time. For now goodnight, I need some rest.

fuze

2008-10-28T21:44:00.003+08:00

I'm so tired. I had to spend my second day of my very precious holiday going back to school for a one-day camp organized by my course - Diploma in Hotel & Hospitality, which was surprisingly fun. The even more surprising fact was the fun part actually came when we had to play captain's ball using a whole chicken ( yes, take that ) and oranges ( among many others; like pingpong and balloons ) as the balls. Disgusting? Yes. Fun? Terribly. I did not touch that chicken tho ( and the squashed oranges ). But it was hilarious seeing two teams ravaging each other for that chicken. We gave a minute of silence for the chicken after all that torture because we're nice people. I made some new kickass friends - Debbie and Nad, particularly. :) We got testimonials too(!) And the most interesting part was definitely the part where we got some insights on what we'll be learning come year 2. I'm so eggcited. I hate the modules for year 1 pls and I cannot wait to get it over and done with. And I really want this week to creep by. Especially from Friday onwards.

On a totallie random note, I'm missing Nina and the boy. :( And I want the ever irresistable Charles Bass. Now.

something wonderful

2008-10-27T13:25:00.004+08:00

This was us on our 1st year anniversary. Remember the fun we had on that boat, baby? Now we've come a long way . . we're 31! And you know what? This love I've had for you for the past 2 years and 7 months, have never gone away. You have always been here beside me, making life worthwhile, I thank you for that and for all the other personal sacrifices you've made for me. I don't think any other person can make me feel as happy as you make me feel when I'm with you. Love of my life, happy anniversary. Many, many more months/years to come, I hope? :) I love you.

living in twilight

2008-10-26T23:37:00.002+08:00

No amount of coffee, no amount of crying
No amount of whiskey, no amount of wine
No, nothing else will do
I've gotta have you, I've gotta have you.

!!!

2008-10-26T15:09:00.005+08:00

Okay I'm super pissed right now(!!!) I just checked my grades for the science module and I got a fucking D again. Cibai oily face bitch. I think she's showing bloody favoritism and putting her personal interest over professionalism. You can go and die, you effing cunt face. She has had this grudge over me eversince the day the class and I cabut for her freakin' lame class and now I got another D?! Hah, what the fuck? I jolly well know I freaking contributed and I bloody did not read word for word off the slides. WHAT THE HELL!? I had bloody notes sial! If I see her oily face and her eye-sore, repetitive clothes again after the holidays I am seriously gonna write to the module chair.

P/S : I know the picture doesn't tally with what I've written. But I don't care.

through a telescope

2008-10-26T01:35:00.002+08:00

I decided to do some blond extensions on my hair because I wasted 80bucks a month ago on bloody non-existent highlights, when I really chose the colour copper blonde pls. Bloody waste of my money. So to make me a teeny bit happy, some colours on my hair! The boy spoke chinese to the hair stylist, because well, I can't speak Mandarin and the stylist can't speak English. Thank God for him.

"Harapkan muke je macam Cine, tapi tak tau bebual Cine. Pe saje je"
Thanks ar. Not that I wanna look Chinese, right?

A few days back when I got back home from work, I was greeted by that brand new Guess handbag on my bed. :) From Papa, of cuz. But his taste on women's handbag suck. He bought me an LV bag a couple of years back, but I have never worn it out before cuz me thinks it's ugly(?)

"Look baby, I have brown eyes too(!!)"

NS makes him look a little more chunkier. And his V shape/6pecs a lot more visible. I loovee. :)

Attack of the botak boy.

Which leads to . .

This.

And this. -_- Retarded.

Esna, stop being so loud please. The boy got the shock of his life when you screamed my name. Hahah. Thanks, darling. :)

Okay I'm very tired now and my legs . . oh my god. So, goodnight~

no pain no gain

2008-10-24T11:17:00.005+08:00

Besides these crazy cramps I've been having since I woke up and the fact that I was very, very late, today was pretty much fine. The class was mentally away for today's module because well, it's the last day of school yaw. :) There are more pictures but I'll upload them once I get a hold on them from V. I feel like having something chocolatey. Guys?

jokeS of the day

2008-10-23T14:44:00.003+08:00

Joke #1

Some random guy went to our class and sat beside CD, who happens to be in my group. He talked about today's problem and I was plugged in to Kanye West's Love Lockdown ( I'm so addicted to it, btw ). Basically I was minding my own business when the guy suddenly talked to me.

Dude : Hey, I've seen you around in W1 before.
Me : Issit?
Dude : Yeah, I'm Kwan. You are? *extends hand*

And then, he went on about how I don't look like Malay, instead I look Chinese ( "you're hard to figure out". So god darn cliched and I'm so sick of hearing it as a pick up line already lar! ), and that he has a Youtube Channel ( which he helped himself to my laptop to show me his video. Nope, I didn't say I wanna watch it ). Oh and remember the group of terrorists I mentioned in previous post? Well, he happened to be the one who waved at me. Yes, he was the terrorist and now he knows my class. ( Stalker, much? ) And finally, he offered to add himself up at my MSN. Haha. Best way to hit on a girl ever. I wonder how long he took to plan that whole thing up.

Once he left, the whole class was like what the hell was that? Hahaha. I know right. It's funny because his supposed point of entering our class was to ask CD about today's problem. And after like what, 2 questions(?), he went on to introducing himself to me, and he didn't even ask CD his name la! Hello? You're supposed to introduce yourself to the one you talked to first, and not the person whose sitting beside him. -_-Secondly, he completely ignored CD once he started that conversation with me. And that guy didn't offer to add himself up at CD's MSN.

CD : I was like the door to Ria.

Poor CD, you've been used. ):

Joke #2

During second breakout, the guys and I went out to get some drinks. I was carrying Haikal's backpack, for fun. Yes I carried the goddamn backpack just to get a drink, got a problem with that? Haha anyway, in the lift, was us and a facilitator. And suddenly Arief the Jackass said this. .

Arief : Look Ria, I think you shouldn't cabut class. I think you should just stay.

HAHAHA. What the fcuk? I burst out laughing that I didn't even bother to retaliate. What an ass. He even said that in a bloody serious tone okay! Thanks, Arief. You're the best.

the shade of carmine

2008-10-23T12:25:00.000+08:00

I should really be sleeping right now. But I'm busy painting my nails to my favuhred colour. :) It's been ages since I painted my nails, and I think due to the lack of practice, it looks hideous. But howells, you can never go wrong with red, baby. Work was gooood. I like. I'm starting to tend the bar now, coping well I must say. Sufhian and Faiz was there, the two area managers, and they were hilarious. Something about installing a pole and having us to dance. Faiz even showed us some not-so-sexay moves. Haha. Anyway, I have a feeling tomorrow will be good. Let's hope.

slurp that slurpee

2008-10-23T08:48:00.003+08:00

Morning babies. The rain didn't quite dampen my mood ( surprisingly ) , so here I am trying to make the best of today. I bought slurpee. :D I don't know what's wrong with me. I eat ice creams and all sorts of cold nonsense on rainy weathers. I'm cute like that. Hahah k no. Anyway, I've been having this backache for ages, it hurts like fug. ): It hurts the most when I wanna sleep, and when I'm sitting down for long hours and even when I'm walking. Easy said it hurts like every second of everyday. Ergh, I can't stand it. I feel so . . old. And you know what else I can't stand? Working 3 nights in a row during school days. Like oh my god. I'm sick of wearing black jeans and black shoes everyday. I wanna wear shorts and skirts and dresses too. ): But work was good yesterday. It went by fast. The area manager was there. And I also got a fuh-ree hair serum from the next door salon. :D So yeah . . Tomorrow is FRIDAY. Supper with my baby(!!) and then, school break starts. Thank god.

3 words, 3 syllables

2008-10-22T13:11:00.003+08:00

I love GG's ending to episode 7. Oh my god, Chuck Bass, you're the man of my dreams.

all over

2008-10-22T09:43:00.000+08:00

Mac cracks me up big time sometimes.

We were so eggcited we get to use webcam on our useless Compaq laptop, we refused to end it. Haha.

Two nights ago when I was on the road riding pillion, I gave the boy a call to tell him something. All I got was him shouting in my ear and a "Beep" sound. ): Then I got this text.

"Jangan nak macam2 boley tak call2 orang time on the road, kalau jatuh macam mane? Hp jatuh tak pasal ar, kalau you jatuh, bley beli tak?!"

Translation : You don't call me when you're on the road okay. If you fall, how? Your handphone fall I don't care, but if you . . can buy new one not?!

Wahaha. Sayang jugak ey. So okay, I get the message because he really sounded shocked/worried/scared when I called. -_- Anyway, I think I should really buy myself a plain notebook to jot down all the notes, plans and schedules I have on my brain. No more organizers for me as for now. It's so hard to write on the lines, because I'd have to write neatly and I don't write neatly when I'm in a rush. And the boy is already complaining about my crazily hectic schedules and plans. So later on, I'll make a quick trip to Booklink to get myself a new notebook. I'm so eggcited(!!).

Oh and I just saw yesterday's O level English paper. It's frigging easy. And I'm still not over the fact that I got a B3 instead of an A for English. Dammit, I don't think I'll get over this. Ever.

Ergh I think I just murdered a few gazillion of my brain cells for Cognitive's UT.

You are at a Y-junction road.

Down one path is the village of truth tellers and down the other path is the village of liars. In the village of truth tellers the people tell NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH; in the village of liars the people tell NOTHING BUT LIES.

At the Y-junction there is a villager; however, you do not know whether the villager is from the village of truth tellers or from the village of liars.

Which of the following ‘YES-NO’ questions can you ask the villager, in order to guide you in the right path towards the village of truth tellers? Explain the rationale behind your choice.

A. Point to any path and ask, “What would the villager from the village of liars say if I ask him, ‘Is this the path that will lead me to the village of truth tellers?’”

B. Point to any one path and ask, “Can this path lead me to your village?”

.
.

Bloody hell. What's wrong with these people?!

we go purple

2008-10-20T11:50:00.008+08:00

Alien pose.

Aweeeesome shot. I was so eggcited when I saw this.

.. And my favourite picture from Nazeer's camera. :D I'd like to think that Adam's expression did not spoil it.

On to the measly amount of pictures from my camera.

Love.

Mel and Juraimi's sunshine - Helmi. :)

My camera seems so inferior now as compared to Nazeer's. ): Baby, I think it's about time we get ourselves a new baby for your baby - a huge ass camera pls? :D Haha. Besides, the boy did say he wanna get a camera for himself. Maybe I can share-share? Yay eggcitedness. Oh and these pictures are from Saturday's visiting with the skaters, and retired skaters. I promised the boy I'd let him decide the colour for next year. I already chose for the past two years, so give this botakhead a chance la hor.

go ria!

2008-10-20T10:27:00.002+08:00

Hey babies, I'm currently in class doing a problem on Go Britney! My body is hurting. Back ache, blisters on my feet thanks to the damned heels. Ate Shepherd's Pie for breakfast, but I'm still hungry. I'm so lonely because Lilo's with the boy, and for now I have to make do with Lola. No more watching Friends, GG, and some other movies on the way to school anymore. ): Okay, only for 5 days. Wanna know what I'm looking forward to next week? Holidaysssss. :D Only for a week but I don't care. I'm gonna work hard, and play harder. Woo. Mim is bribing me to skip class and have brunch at Breeks. Omg. Should I stay or should I go? Heh.

take me back to where i've started

2008-10-19T19:52:00.011+08:00

About time I give a proper update. . so here goes nothing. As y'all can see life's been a tad tough for me, and I'm hoping this is the end really. I've had enough of experiencing these emotional roller-coaster rides. It's making me sick, literally. If ever I had snapped at any of you or just plain distancing myself from you, I apologize. My mood's been down and I guess instead of helping by simply keeping shut, you're making things worse for me. But anyway, I'm still trying to be a better person. I'm constantly being reminded to change and remove all negativity that's in my life. But that's not possible, is it?

Work's been pretty good. Awesome colleagues and a supervisor that reminds me so much of the ex - attitude wise. But he's great. My area manager was an ex steward :) and you should know how that makes me feel haha. Managed to have a talk with him last week when he dropped by and now, I just cannot wait to graduate. Some pretty hot news have been going around and I must say, I'm appalled. I should really start to remember that people aren't what you think they are. There's always something they're hiding, some secrets, another totally different identity. What you see, isn't exactly what you get, sometimes. Ah Ria, better stop being naive.

As for school, it's alright. I'm still trying to buck up and pull up my socks. Classmates have been great so far. . just the facilitators are a bunch of shiats. Ergh, can't stand them. All thanks to them, I have zero mood to excel. But that has never been the case when I was in secondary though. . Even if I don't fancy the teachers or the subject, I still do my best to put all personal matters aside and do my best. It worked out well obviously. But now. . I don't know why I can't do just that.

With the boy, it's been a breeze. He's been such a sweetheart lately, I feel so extremely lucky to have him. When I'm at my lowest low, he'll never fail to pick me up and put a genuine smile on my face. I hope it stays that way for as long as ever.

I've been missing my family because I feel I haven't been spending enough time with them, what with school, work and the boy. I had so much expectations ofthem lately, but it just got me down. One perfect example was Raya. That's probably what's been sucking the life out of me. But I've survived it. Last week I was so desperate to bring my brother back on track, that I almost thought of doing something extremely out of the question. Wanna know what saved me? Yes, none other than the boy. Lucky am I not to have him? Sometimes I really do wish we don't grow up too fast. It scares the hell out me to learn that the people I was once so close to, and thought I knew so well, have changed to a completely different person. But it's inevitable. So yeah, I have got to accept it, like it or not.

On a totally random note, I regret deleting all my old blogs. I shouldn't have. All those precious written memories that connects me back to my past. ): Sigh. Never.Gonna.Delete.This.One. Promise. :)

Replies to tags :

luqman : And you just noticed that I'm cute? Haha.

Huda : Hey. Thanks and yeap, my cheekbones are sky high it's scary. :)

izali : What are you trying to say? Smallest beings? Even ants? Okay, I'm trying to not think too much now haha.

sweet tangerine

2008-10-19T09:21:00.001+08:00

Always.

lolli lolli

2008-10-17T09:07:00.005+08:00

Haikal's. I mean that thing on my head.

Haha. RP's so weird. I went out of the toilet and got hijacked by 5 guys wearing black socks(?) over their head, like terrorists, and carrying machine guns. Imagine the look on my face. -_- And guess what they said?

"Hey, good morning!" With smiles.
Hahaha. I swear I have no idea who they are.

letting go

2008-10-16T23:01:00.004+08:00

Ah well, time and time again I get screwed over. This time I don't care anymore. There's always a point in life where you get so tired or chasing everyone and fixing everything. Well, this is it. But it's not giving up, it's realizing I just don't need certain people anymore. I'm gonna say it one time, and one time only - I have had enough. Screw you.

dewberry

2008-10-16T10:20:00.003+08:00

Muhd Mikhail Samuel.

This morning was beautiful. The break of the dawn, specifically. The full moon looked a little somber being surrounded by misty clouds casted upon the crimson skies. It was breath taking enough to make me text the boy to look up the sky. And he saw it. Kinda made my day. Funny but yes, the simplest things are able to make me smile. So to repay the gift I received this morning, I intend to make full use of the entire day. Being productive, that's my aim. Take baby steps to improving the hopeless state I've been these past few days. I hope it happens.

Getting back to the lighter note .. Tomorrow's Friday, baby(!). :) I love.

don't wake me up

2008-10-15T11:25:00.002+08:00

There are tons of other pictures from the other day, but I'll just upload them at my own pace kay. Currently in class and I have to admit I've been slacking like crazy lately. Ahh well, Semester 2 is always like that, right? Doesn't help that four-fifth of my facilitators are like shit. But whatever. I wish I can just stop thinking all together. But really, I think my brain's in hibernation mode. I breeze past my day, but I don't really savour every second of it. It's fleeting, I don't experience them. It's funny. What happened yesterday, I take such a long time to remember. Geez, it feels like I'm not even living this life I'm leading. Just like a robot. I wonder for how long it'll be like this. .

You know what will make me happy right now?
Hello Panda.
It's been forever since I ate that thing. ):

rehab

2008-10-13T01:03:00.003+08:00

I'm both physically and mentally drained as of late. The weather is killing me. My man came to the rescue come Sunday night by surprising me. I loved every minute of it. I've missed him so much. He was unwell too but he took the effort. I'm contented. (: I spent the night pouring my heart out to him, about what's been going on in my life while he's away and what I've been keeping inside for months. He heard me out while I try to verbalize my feelings, it was hard considering the fact I keep breaking down, like, after every few words. Thank you for being there for me like you have always been there before. It's been tough because he's been away. And he's the only one I can depend on to listen to me and care for me. Most importantly, he understands the whole emotional turmoil I've been going through. On a lighter note, yesterday was good. I spent my day over at his place with his family. I wasn't feeling well, but at least I rested sufficiently. For now I just have to keep my fingers crossed and hope he'll be able to book out on Friday. Please, please, pretty please?

On a lighter note .. uhm well, I'll get back to this part once I think of something happy. Bye, loves.

nineteen stars

2008-10-11T00:00:00.003+08:00

All I want right now is to snuggle up to your warm body, your strong arms wrapped firmly around me .. and you whispering sweet nothings inside my ears, serenading, while rocking me softly till i drift away to the sweetest wonderland. I miss you so much. I need you to get better. ):

chocolate

2008-10-09T10:01:00.004+08:00

Last night, I had this crazy idea to organize a mini fondue party. Because I just realized I have a fondue machine which I have never, ever touched before - simply because it's such a major chore to clean that thing up! Wouldn't it be nice to have your closest friends around and munching on cut up fruits, marshmallows, bread sticks, et cetera et cetera, DIPPED IN HOT MELTED CHOCOLATE and catching up. . Okay that sounds yum. But but but ( before you people get eggcited ) . . I don't think I'll have the time. Haha. Maybe one day .. Maybe.

Speaking of parties, I have two on my list. Both Halloween parties ( not that I even celebrate it ). I have yet to send my RSVP, don't think I even will go. Because you know, I feel like an old person already just by saying this -_- - the only time I can salvage with my boyfriend, I'd actually, really like to spend it having a nice, quiet dinner together and talking. Haha. Oh and besides that, I'm also working now. Yeap working. Remember when I said I'm trying my best to occupy as much time as I possibly can, so that I won't miss him too much? Yes, working helps. And the fact that I have awesome colleagues help too. Yay to fun working environment. Try come and find me, babies. :) My body is still trying to adjust with it though. Schooling and working at the same time(!!). Woo, I feel like a superwoman. Hah. K bye.

Mundane much?

2008-10-08T20:27:00.004+08:00

I don't know which part of my life to share anymore over here at baby-blue-eyed. I'm just trying my best to occupy the abundant time I have in my hand, which is pretty much working. I like that. I like it when I have no time to stop and think about you and how much I'm missing you. For now, I'm coping okay. 3 down, 9 more days to go. .

asphyxiated

2008-10-07T13:42:00.002+08:00

I have bloody stalkers in RP. Ergh. Note the plural form okay. Scary. And there's a black out currently going on right here, right now. Hahah. Life as it seems, is pretty much annoying.

black is back

2008-10-06T12:23:00.002+08:00

Pictures from the last week.

I'm in all black today, sucha phenomenon. Monday and enterprise just don't go well. My mind has completely switched off the moment I stepped into class. Wish me luck for later!

the light

2008-10-05T23:23:00.004+08:00

Dasar police pemalas(!!)

Hello. Today is a much better day. Things pretty much began to look up once I've received that phone call. I finally watched Dark Knight, haha tell me about it. I don't understand that movie at all probably because I kept pausing to do other stuffs and go out in between that 2 hours plus long movie. I also finally seeked forgiveness from both my parents tonight. Don't ask why the damn overdue scene that's supposed to be played on the first day of raya is played now.. I don't want to talk about it. Well at least I can now have a peace of mind and have something to be happy about. The boyfriend still haven't seeked forgiveness from me. ): I have(!) He only said "I pun same jugak k sayang" and kissed my forehead.. That's all. So, I insist the day I go to his house to Raya in our matching outfits, we'll have another proper one in front of his parents (: I can't wait for it. Please come home soon. I hope these 10 tens days will pass by like a breeze since I'm now gonna have a jam-packed schedule~ :D I like it when I have things to do to keep my time preoccupied. Okay, today's good. I hope tomorrow will be even better. Goodnight, dolls.

the day's magic

2008-10-04T23:20:00.004+08:00

My Adidas is with him and his Fossil is with me. Funny way to be closer to each other, but it works. Just like how his old necklace on my ankle works for me, never enough but beggar's can't be choosers. Enjoy your Paul Smith, you. :)

P/S : Thank you for knocking some sense into me. Harsh, but I know it's for the best.

get cape. wear cape. fly

2008-10-04T10:50:00.007+08:00

with time nothing gets easier. when you feel like giving up, you think of why you held on in the first place. that keeps you going, thats the only thing that you need besides reassurance. because right now, i just feel empty. i don't know why. nothing major has gone wrong, really. just one of those days that just seem to drag on and on and on. i want more in life. no, not materialistic things. i want more excitement because since you've been away my life seems so dull. i try to make use of all the measly time i get and can spare with you. it's not enough. i know better than to expect the good old days to be back where we can spend every single minute of our lives together gallivanting around the country, eating good food, laughing in the midst of countless piggyback rides, all those adventures and silly mishaps we've faced, the long walks with no aim in mind - just spending time you know. it means a lot - the simplest things. but i do, i do want them back. now i just feel terrible because i know i won't be getting them. i know this will be the life i'll be leading from now onwards. the life where you and i will me miles apart for days and days and the only time we get to spend together is just too precious to spend fighting or arguing. i wish you have another carbon copy of yourself. so that he can fill up my loneliness with your voice, with your touch spreading complete reassurance to me that we'll get through this one hurdle - just this one. i'll never be too lonely that way. it's funny that my life seems like a mess, great friends and laughters around me but it's just not enough because you're not here with me. the laughters and the happiness i get from you is the best. it's the one i need to keep me going like you always have in the past. that's the thing i love about you, the one that i always think of when i start to wonder why i'm still here at this point of time in my life with you. it's the fact that you can make me happy like no other, in no way that my friends or my family can. you make me smile just by looking deep in my eyes. you make me laugh with all the silly antics you do just to brighten up my day, eventhough it humiliates the hell out of you in public. but that's just great. you're willing to sacrifice yourself, it all, for me. my happiness means everything to you and it's your top priority. that's why i'm still here with you. you go through all odds to make it work, to make me feel secure and happy even if that's the toughest job in the world you will have to do repetitively. you make me feel at ease just by being in your presence. there's this aura about you that just makes me feel good and at complete calmness - the one that i can honestly say that i have never ever experienced in my life. you're amazing, how you can just keep up with me. with all my crazy antics all these years. how you bear with my paranoia, my insecurities, my judgmental thoughts about you - the things i can never seem to do back to you. i can't stand your paranoia, i can't stand your insecurities but you - you still push through despite it all. sometimes i think who else can tolerate all these kinds of nonsense from me. "you accept the love you think you deserve" - and sometimes i think i don't deserve such a divine love like yours - so pure, so true, so selfless. because i have been such a bitch one too many times. i wish i can be a better person for you like you have been for me. i'm trying, you can see that can't you? please just stay with me. because i can never imagine my life without you. i love you muhammad saifullah. always have, always will.

isn't it ironic how i just said in the last post that NS haven't taken it's toll on me yet? hah. what a joke, ria. cuz you know it's creeping into you slowly but surely. .

the best thing about tonight . .

2008-10-04T01:00:00.003+08:00

I have got to stop spending money every time I feel sad, lonely, depressed. Horrible habit, I tell you. I was waiting for the love to book out, and while wandering around in the mall - I managed to get myself a top, a skirt and a pair of shoes in under 15 minutes. Cool shiat. Instead of adding money in the bank, I'm rapidly depleting them. ( But on the lighter side, I'm very happy with my purchases. (: ) And boy do I have to stop cabbing. What is wrong with me!? Need to start disciplining.

Tonight was pretty much good. We had ice creams for supper at our ol' favourite spot. We managed to really talk, which is so rare nowadays. And we walked back home hand in hand with the most wonderful, comfortable silence ever. Nope, NS have yet to take its toll on me. Maybe next week. I'm pretty much dreading it. But I hope there'll be something that might be able to cheer me up. Tomorrow is the day ey?

asses, caves, rooms and butterflies

2008-10-03T14:55:00.004+08:00

I'm addicted to these goodies! Thanks V! :D
An sent me a very, very sweet text yesterday. Sweet and amusing. Very rare.
Meeting my lalalalove later. Need.New.Shoes. Idc.

Somebody asked me to update. But I have zero mood, zero things to talk about. So here goes the very redundant post, especially for you Mac. ♥

soundtracks of our lives

2008-10-02T17:29:00.002+08:00

Movies, TV screens reflect just what you expected. There's a world of shiny people somewhere else - out there following their bliss, living easy, getting kissed. While you wonder what else you're doing wrong. Breathe through it, write a list of desires. Make a toast, make a wish, slash some tires. Paint a heart repeating, beating "don't give up, don't give up, don't give up."

green monstar

2008-10-01T02:37:00.003+08:00

I'm so tiredddd. I feel like sleeping throughout the whole day tomorrow. I don't want to wake up. I just want this to be over and done with so my life can resume as per normal. Gosh I sound like The Grinch. Ah, so anyway - I didn't exactly get to get everything done as per planned. ): Did some very, very last minute shopping today. I went to Geylang twice hokay! Morning with the family, night with the boy. It's such a pity that he's only out for a day and a half. He's booking in, specifically, tonight. ): The crowd was horrible(!!!). As soon as I grabbed some stuffs and a cheese hotdog we cabbed back to Bedok to meet up with his friends. The only thing that keeps me sane at this point of time is none other than him. He keeps me going and I thank God for that. (: I hope next week will be better. Which I pretty much doubt so because he's having his bloody confinement for a grand total of ten effing days.. Life sucks at this point of time. I've been ranting and bitching to almost everyone for what seemed like ages and I think the boy gets it the worst, so I think it's about time I stfu.

Before I end this anything-but-festive post, I'd like to wish Selamat Hari Raya to all my Muslim readers who bother to read my shits. Maaf Zahir & Batin. May you enjoy your Syawal. :)

every day should be a holiday

2008-09-29T18:26:00.002+08:00

E36D declared a half day today. Well most of us anyway. I went scouring around in search of a leather Ipod casing for my new baby. Boy was it tough ( and costly! ). But I got it anyway. (: I saw gorgeous shoessss(!!!) and I so want to buy them. ): But I'm broke.

I'm not anticipating Raya at all. I can't be bothered anymore because I'm sick of all the shits that I've been through when cleaning up the house. Sad ey?

progress

2008-09-28T17:59:00.003+08:00

I AM THIS CLOSE TO BREAKING DOWN.

the day we came out from our momma's uterus

2008-09-27T16:45:00.006+08:00

Yesterday was Arief's birthday. :D Chrislint, Charis, V and myself went to CWP to get some cupcakes and whipped cream for the birthday boy during the second break. I'd like to think the surprise went well. He certainly looked as though he's about to cry. . which is most likely because of the fact all the guys in the class whipped his ass not because of the suuuweet surprise haha.

I have a long video to tell the story of what happened here. And another one for the previous two or three posts. But I swear I have no time to upload them. :( I still have tons of pictures to get from the rest and some to upload from my phone. I think it'll not happen until after all the Raya preparations are done. Which is going to be totallie overdue by then.

Later on that day, I went to met these bunch of guys after class. :)

And lookie-lookie what they got for me! :D ( I looooove that balloon, I called it Baloo. -_- Just looking at it makes me have this huge grin plastered on my face ) And also a yellow carebear popper out from Marc's bag.

Ian : Do you know why we chose the colour yellow not? It's because we're the only non-muslim guy friends you're close to. And yellow represents Chinese so when you look at it you'll remember us! We wanted to get a brown one and a yellow one and rip them into half then sew them, but we went against the idea.

Brown because well, Ian's brown.
HAHAHAHA. WTF guys.

Next I met my lalalalove!

We had dinner and did some shopping and some major catching up.

Proceeded to E!hub and met this NEBO dude.

And the best birthday present ever? Yeap, that 120GB baby! :D I wanted a white one but there's none. So yeah, silver's the closest to what I wanted. . but all's good(!!) Thank you so much, love. You're the best. Oh, and I have a total of two carebears ( pink and yellow ), and a recordable bear for my 18th. 3 teddies for my 18th. Hahaha. Am I turning 18 or 8, my mum asked. Young at heart, momma, young at heart . .

And it's tied at the foot of my bed post. Just so I can stare at it before I go to bed and when I wake up. Haha what a bloody obsession.

Today's the 27th(!!) Which means happy 2 years and 6 months to us~ I love you always, all ways and forever, babe. Thanks for everything, not just yesterday - but for the past 30 months we've been together. You make my life complete.